“To my children, I will say. ” Fill your skin with kindness and find solace in your solitude. It takes bravery to be kind. But to be brave you will need to know how to stand alone for something even if you are completely alone.” – Nikita Gill
It’s easy to stand up and proudly voice your views when you agree with the majority, isn’t it?
When you’re on the same bandwagon as your friends, life feels smooth. You’re accepted. You’re “in.” Your social calendar is full.
But what about when you’re not so sure you agree with the majority?
What happens when who you are—your inner spirit—conflicts with the views of those around you?
If you’re lucky, your friends and peers are mature enough to respect your beliefs. They may not agree, but they agree to disagree, and the friendship remains intact. Unfortunately, we all know that isn’t always the case. Many of us have friends—and even family—who simply cannot accept that not everyone thinks the way they do. And when you don’t see things as “clearly” as they do, you must be against them.
How silly is that?
The most destructive part of this dynamic is fear. When we know we might be rejected by people we love and respect, we often back down from our opinions—or keep them hidden altogether. We go with the flow, stay quiet, and tell ourselves it’s easier that way. This is especially true for people pleasers, or for those who lack the self-confidence to risk being ostracized for speaking their truth.
I know this from experience.
For most of my life, I was the Queen of People Pleasing. I avoided conflict at all costs. I didn’t want to rock the boat or cause division, so I agreed when I didn’t agree and stayed silent when something felt wrong—all to keep the peace and, more importantly, to keep my friends.
I buried my true feelings about everything from current events to church sermons. I witnessed injustices and accepted things I knew in my heart were wrong.
Then one day—I’m not exactly sure when—something incredible happened.
I had enough.
I decided I would no longer be a people pleaser. It was exhausting.
I chose instead to live my life in a way that was pleasing to me and to God.
I committed to seeking God’s wisdom in situations that troubled me, rather than seeking approval from people or popular opinion.
And I decided I would no longer go along with the crowd just to fit in.
And guess what?
I wasn’t accepted anymore.
Friends I had shared life with for over twenty years shunned me because I chose to seek God’s direction instead of continuing to conform. My children were judged. My parenting was questioned. Even my faith was doubted by people who had once been closer than family.
To say I was sad, heartbroken, and lonely would be an understatement. I was standing completely alone for something I knew—deep in my heart—was right.
But as I continued to seek God, and as I kept my eyes fixed on His wisdom, things slowly began to change.
My outlook became clearer.
My family grew closer.
And God brought old friends—true friends—back into my life.
Today, my circle is small, but it is strong. These friends give me the freedom to have my own opinions while loving me unconditionally.
So if you’re reading this and you’re staying silent because you know you’ll be left standing alone if you speak up…
Speak up anyway.
Have the courage to stand alone for what you believe is right—especially if you know in your heart it’s right for you. I can tell you with certainty that God will take care of the rest, and you will not be alone for long.
And the self-respect that comes from standing firm in your beliefs—rather than bowing to the “in crowd”—is one of the most satisfying feelings you will ever experience.
There is a quote by Serano Sky, that I love so much and it speaks of the kind of person I strive to be and I want my children to be…
“I really like people who use their brain and heart to form their own opinion on various issues. They don’t think mainstream, but neither do they just follow the opinions of some trendy people. You can tell their opinions have been well-thought and balanced out, trying to see all sides of the picture before coming to conclusions. And even then, they are still leaving their mind open to the way things may change and affect a situation, and are always willing to adapt their opinion according to new facts. If you find a person like that, hang on to them.”