“To my children, I will say. ” Fill your skin with kindness and find solace in your solitude. It takes bravery to be kind. But to be brave you will need to know how to stand alone for something even if you are completely alone.” – Nikita Gill
It’s so easy to stand up and proudly voice your views and opinions when you agree with the majority, isn’t it? When you’re on the same bandwagon as all your friends, life is smooth sailing, you’re in with the cool kids and your social calendar is full.
But what about when you’re just not sure you agree with the majority? What if who you are and your inner spirit is conflicted with the views of those around you? What do you do then?
If you’re lucky
If you’re lucky, your friends and peers are mature in their character and will respect your beliefs and opinions. And while they might not agree with you, they will agree to disagree and your friendship will not be altered. However, we all know this isn’t always the case. We all have friends and even family who simply cannot accept the fact that not everyone thinks like them and when you don’t see things as clearly as they do … you must be against them.
How silly is that?
Unfortunately, the most destructive part of that situation is when we know we will experience rejection from people we love and respect, it will sometimes cause us to back down from our opinions, or at least keep them contained. We will just go with the flow and keep our thoughts to ourselves in order to stay accepted and connected. This especially happens to those of us who are people pleasers or those who lack the self-confidence it takes to even think about taking the chance of being ostracized for speaking our mind or disagreeing.
I know this from experience.
For most of my life, I was The Queen of people pleasing. It had always been my nature to not rock the boat or cause division of any kind. I would avoid conflict at any cost and agree with whatever in order to keep the peace and more importantly … keep my friends.
I would bury my true feelings about everything from current events to church sermons, I would witness injustices and I accepted BS that I knew in my heart to be ridiculous.
Then one day, not exactly sure when, something incredible happened…
* I decided not to be a people pleaser – I had had enough! It was too exhausting!
* I chose instead to live my life in a way that was pleasing to ME and to God.
* I made the decision to seek God in situations that I was in turmoil over and not that of man or popular opinion.
* I decided I would no longer go along with the crowd in order to fit in and be accepted.
And guess what …
I wasn’t … I was no longer accepted in my circle. Friends that I had shared life with for 20+ years, shunned me all because I chose to seek God’s direction for my life and not continue striving to fit in. My children were judged, my parenting was questioned and even my faith in God was being doubted by people who were once closer than family.
To say that I was sad, heartbroken … lonely, would have been an understatement. I truly was standing all alone for something I knew in my heart was right.
But as I continued to seek God and as I kept my eyes fixed on Him and His wisdom, things started to subtly make a turn for the better.
My outlook on life became clearer, my family became closer, and He brought longtime friends who I had lost touch with, back into my life.
I now have a small group of friends that are truer than true and who give me the freedom to have my own opinions while still loving me unconditionally.
So…
If you are reading this and you are in a situation where something just doesn’t feel right and you are choosing to stay silent because you know you will be left standing alone if you choose to speak up…
Speak up anyway! Have the courage to stand alone for what you believe is right. Especially if you know in your heart it’s the right thing for YOU! I can tell you for certain that God will take care of the situation and you won’t be alone for long. In addition to that…
The self-respect that comes from standing up for what you believe in and not cow tailing to the “in crowd” is the most satisfying feeling you will ever experience.
There is a quote by Serano Sky, that I love so much and it speaks of the kind of person I strive to be and I want my children to be…
“I really like people who use their brain and heart to form their own opinion on various issues. They don’t think mainstream, but neither do they just follow the opinions of some trendy people. You can tell their opinions have been well-thought and balanced out, trying to see all sides of the picture before coming to conclusions. And even then, they are still leaving their mind open to the way things may change and affect a situation, and are always willing to adapt their opinion according to new facts. If you find a person like that, hang on to them.”