In the still, quiet hours before the world wakes, this is usually where you’ll find me. Snuggled up in “The Queens Chair”, under a cozy blanket, a warm fire a lit candle, depending on the season, and a hot cup of coffee.
If this chair could talk, oh the stories it could tell…
I’m sure it would tell of the countless times that I cried out to God, begging, pleading and making deals with Him in order to change a situation, mend a broken relationship, heal a sick body or restore a hurting or lost soul.
You would probably hear about the many times, while quietly reading His word, I suddenly had an “ah ha” moment and shouted out loud, “Oh my God!” That’s what you meant by that?” … REALLY? … WOW! … WOW!
You would undoubtedly hear about the endless conversations that I’ve had with Him, asking… What the Hell!!!! Seriously God??? (I’m not kidding!)
(I have a list of questions longer than my arm, that I have for Him when we meet face to face! )
And then, of course, you would hear about the many, MANY times, when I sat in shame, tears streaming down my face, asking Him to please forgive me.
Yep … over the years, that chair has heard it all!
But I think now, after all the years and all the conversations He and I have had while snuggled in that chair, you would hear more about how genuine and intimate our relationship has become. You would hear more about me praising Him for His goodness and faithfulness, and more stories of me thanking Him for loving me and accepting me just the way I am, flaws and all.
I can tell you from experience when you’re in the thick of any type of crises, it’s easy to sometimes wonder where God is and even get angry at Him when prayers aren’t being answered. Trust me, I know!
But when I look back over my life, I can see very clearly that He was ALWAYS there…right in the midst of it all; I just chose to focus on this storm and not Him.
I was too busy crying, pleading, and wallowing in condemnation and guilt over anything I had ever done wrong, to be able to trust Him at His word that says, “No weapons formed against me would prosper” or “He would never leave me or forsake me”.
Did you notice that neither of those verses are followed by …
“but only if you are perfect and have never sinned”?
That’s because God doesn’t require perfection in order to love and be with His children in their time of need. Just like we don’t require perfection to be there for our own children when they need us.
Whether you believe you deserve His love or not, it doesn’t matter.
God loves you and He is ALWAYS with you … even if you are unaware.