“To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side, I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, ” A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God”. – Brennan Manning
If you have never read Brennan Manning’s “The Ragamuffin Gospel” I encourage you to do so. When I read this book, every part of my being wanted to scream…
“I KNEW IT!!! THIS IS WHO JESUS IS…HE LOVES US…ALL OF US…NO MATTER WHAT WE DO!”
During this season of my life, I was struggling with who I was spiritually and questioning almost everything I had been taught in church for the past twenty-two years. I knew Jesus was real; He had shown Himself in my life many, many times, but my faith in Christianity, religion and the church was wavering.
Embarrassed to call myself a Christian
I was watching Christians use religion and the Bible as a means to judge, ostracize and hurt people who didn’t believe as they believed or who questioned their spiritual vision. I started reading post after post on social media sites where Christians were bashing non-believers and even other Christians for simply interpreting the Bible differently.
It was making me sick to my stomach! Especially since I had to repent for being guilty of some of the same behavior over the years!
Finding out for myself
I finally had enough and decided to dig into the Bible and find out exactly what God had to say about everything I was witnessing. Did Jesus die on the cross only for the people who behaved perfectly? Did he only bless those who gave 10% of their income and never questioned spiritual authority? Did he ostracize his children who left the church? Did He publicly judge, condemn and make fun of non-believers for questioning His existence? Did He not still adore His children who rebelled, acted inappropriately or committed sin? These are questions I set out to find answers.
However, what I discovered was worth far more than I could have ever hoped.
God used His Word, the words and experiences of others and life’s circumstances to show me who He really was.
He showed me that He made us exactly the way we are nothing we do ever takes Him by surprise. He showed me that nothing we do or don’t do, changes His love for us and that His death on the cross paid for all of our sins; not just those who walk perfectly in His image.
But most importantly… He revealed a love for me that truly surpasses all understanding and grace for me that is nothing less than extravagant.