Sexy is as sexy does

 In life's lessons, lifestyle, marriage, marriage and family

We’ve all heard the saying,  “Pretty is as pretty does”.

Basically meaning; truly pretty people also act pretty. They are kind, respectful and considerate of others. They are full of life and have a knack for inspiring those around them to be pretty as well. 

Have you ever noticed how a persons personality, the way they carry themselves and how they treat us can completely change how we see them physically and even change our own attitude when we’re around them? I sure have! 


If we can agree that behaving pretty can indeed make us feel and look prettier to ourselves and to others, I think the same thing could be said for being sexy.  If we behave in a sexy manner … we will become sexy.

Face it. Most of us want to be pretty AND we want to be sexy.  (I do anyway)

If we’re married, we want this for our spouse and if we’re single, we want this so we can find a spouse! 


Let’s look at some of the words used to define sexy.

Being sexually… 








Did you notice that all of these words are verbs? In all of my references, I only noticed “attractive” mentioned once. 

This tells me being sexy is MENTAL

Being sexy is something you DO

Being sexy has very little to do with your looks, your shape or your size!

Don’t get me wrong, men are visual and they absolutely appreciate the effort we put into to taking care of ourselves and looking attractive for them.  But…  95% of the men that I have talked to say they prefer a woman who is sexually confident and is willing and eager for sex, over a woman who is a visual 10, who is not. 

(This might explain why many men have affairs with women who aren’t as attractive as their wife.)

BE HIS LOVER (not just his wife)

Bottom line … Our men want to be seduced! They want to be desired, flirted with and swooned over. They want to know that we think about touching them and pleasuring them as much as they think about touching and pleasuring us. They want to know that we are putting as much effort into taking care of them as we are the house and the kids.

I know! I know! I know!

It’s hard to think about being sexy if you don’t feel sexy. 

Children, jobs, extra weight and life’s stresses, in general, can suck any sex appeal we ever thought we had, completely from us. 

Trust me, I know … I’ve been there … Four kids, remember?


Here is the thing I’ve learned … In order to feel sexy, you have to start thinking sexy. You have to change your mindset and start surrounding yourself with sexy inspiration. 

We all know that reading blogs, magazines and books about parenting inspire us to be better parents, and websites like Pinterest and HGTV inspire us to be better cooks, more organized and creative around our homes. So if we know this, why not start reading books, and viewing blogs and websites that will inspire us to be more sexual and to be better lovers?

I cannot begin to tell you how important this one step was in helping me to become the sexy woman I wanted to be and the sexual wife my husband needed me to be.

It absolutely changed me as a woman and improved my marriage 100%.

Saturating my mind with “sexual inspiration” encouraged me to start acting the part. “Fake it, till you make it” became my new motto. Reading articles about sex and what men desired, viewing and reading erotica, listening to sexy music, buying sexy lingerie….

All of this was instrumental in helping me to become a sexually confident woman who is now comfortable in my own skin. 

Not that I am a sex Goddess by any means, but I can honestly say that I am more sexually confident and eager for sex now, (even with my aging jiggles and dimples) than I ever was being a youthful size six.   And because of THAT … my husband is one happy man! 

“It’s not what you got, but what you do with what you got that matters in the bedroom.”  – Linda Dillo

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