“Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others”. -Timothy Leary
My first vacation to the Bahama’s and it was unseasonably cold and the rain was relentless … Seriously???
I didn’t care though! I only had one day left alone with my husband with no kids or responsibilities and I was going to sit and drink dark rum at a tiki bar – on the beach – in the Bahamas!
Even if it did mean being miserably cold and soaking wet!
Vacationing in inclement weather is the bad news, the good news…
We met Beatrice. She was the 65 year old Bahamian women tending bar with her son-in-law, in the one tiki bar on the beach that was open.
She was one of those people that after a few minutes of talking with her, you felt as though you had known her forever. After our first drink, and realizing that we weren’t a danger, not only did she invite us inside her charming little hut, she also fired up her small kitchen and cooked for us the most delicious wings and conch fritters I had ever tasted. She was a delight!
By the time we left, FIVE HOURS LATER, we had a new and very dear friend. We invited her and her family to visit if ever in the states, and in August of that year, she did exactly that. She came with two sisters, a daughter, and three grandchildren!! They stayed almost a week with us and I can honestly say they were the best house guests we have ever had. We had an incredible time showing them our beautiful city, staying up late into the night cooking, laughing, learning about the Bahamian culture and sharing how Jesus had shown Himself in all of our lives.
On her last evening with us, after everyone had gone to bed, she confided in Michael and I that she had found out just weeks earlier that she had leukemia and this may be the last vacation with her family. She was waiting to tell all of them after they got back home. With tears in her eyes, she explained that she had always paid for her family to take small vacations, but she would not have been able to afford to come to the states if we had not allowed them to stay with us. Her gratitude was so genuine that it made my husband and I cry right along with her.
I am thrilled to say that was almost two years ago and Beatrice is still with us and doing well! We talk weekly and hopefully, she is coming back this summer for another visit.
“She is dying and nobody cares” …
These words kept me awake for three nights in a row.
My friend who is a home healthcare nurse told me about Jesse. A 59 year old women dying of colon cancer. Her adult sons wouldn’t speak to her because of her less than perfect mothering over the years and her daughter had just gone to prison.
“She’s had a rough life Lisa, in part due to her upbringing and part brought on by her own bad choices. But she’s a sweet woman who desperately wants to live.”
I’m not a nurse, I’ve never taken care of a dying person and honestly…I’ve never spent any time around “that kind of person”
But within days, I’m sitting in a 500 square foot mobile home with holes in the floor, boxes stacked to the ceiling and I’m talking to a woman who at first glance appeared to be the complete opposite of myself.
I told her when we first met…
“Jesse, I don’t know how I can help you, or what I’m supposed to do … I just know that God wants me here”,
By the end of our six hour visit, on that unseasonably chilly September day, I still wasn’t sure exactly why I was there, but I did know one thing…There was more to Jesse than met the eye. She may have been mistreated as a child, she may have made poor decisions as an adult, but she was also a woman full of remorse, wisdom, and grace.
As I said earlier, I’m not a nurse or a caregiver, but what I am, is a homemaker. Not many things make me happier than making a house a warm and comfortable home. And in Jesse’s case, it was a deplorable 500 square foot trailer that no one should have to live in. Much less die in.
I started visiting a few times a week and after a couple of hours of interesting conversation, I would organize and unpack boxes as she slept. What I found was that her entire life was packed in those boxes. And what a beautiful and interesting life it was.
As I cleaned and organized the inside, I got my family involved and they started helping. My son and husband did repairs and landscaped her small yard with beautiful flowers that she could enjoy while rocking on her porch and my daughters helped me paint, decorate and rearrange furniture to make room for her lifetime of boxed up treasures.
I know it sounds crazy, but as Jesse’s trailer became more of a “home”, her attitude, zest for life and overall health improved. I would take her to her doctor’s visits and they were seeing encouraging signs of temporary improvement. She was so excited because, for the first time in months, she actually thought she would get to have at least one more Christmas! Did I mention that one entire room of her trailer was filled with boxes of Christmas decorations? She LOVED Christmas as much as I!
Unfortunately, in early November we found out that cancer had spread to her brain. So… I went into Mrs. Clause mode and while an old friend came in town and took her out for the day, my daughter and I decorated her small space with three Christmas trees and every decoration she had accumulated over her lifetime.
I’ve decorated many people’s homes for Christmas over the years, ranging from 1,500 to 6,000 square feet. But that little 500 square foot trailer was by far my favorite and the most beautiful!
It broke my heart when we lost Jesse just two days before Christmas. I’ve had deep and thought provoking conversations with many intelligent and educated people of the years, but no one has touched me or taught me more about life than Jesse. I often think about and miss our precious conversations about life.
Her last words to me were, and I’ll never forget them…
“Thank you for making this dump a home and for giving me one last Christmas pretty girl … but most of all, thank you for being my friend.”
“I hope you now know why God sent you to me……..I do”
“Don’t talk to strangers!”
How many times did we hear this from our parents growing up?
Though it is very wise, especially for children who don’t quite have the discernment of good and evil; It’s not always the best advice for adults.
There is book after book that tells us to surround ourselves with “good” people if we want to learn about and succeed in life. But I think sometimes we equate “good” with behaved, educated, a certain social status, and impeccable reputation. And while all of those are fine, upstanding qualities, it doesn’t always mean the person who lacks them, aren’t good and can’t teach you.
Sometimes the local barkeep or the woman brought up in foster care can teach us more about life than the most educated, social elite.
We have to get out of our comfort zone and venture out of our social class little bubble that we live in and take a chance on meeting new people! If you believe you can only learn by someone more educated, wealthier, and more sophisticated than yourself … then you have SO much to learn!
Beatrice and Jesse are just two examples of friends I have made who were from very different backgrounds than myself. However, my life and theirs were changed because I took a chance and had a conversation with a stranger. I honestly believe that these two ladies carried valuable pieces to my puzzle and I know for certain that I held pieces to theirs.
I can’t express how excited I am to meet the others!